New Slang

I haven't updated my blog for a while.. I guess it's because I've been trying really hard not to do anything. I know, it sounds stupid "trying hard not to do anything" but it's true. Having been working all the time on a schedule, I never feel comfortable when I have free time. I'm always thinking about my work for the rest of the week, and how I can work ahead if I spend the time working instead of doing nothing. If I do it now, I will get a real weekend on the weekend. But the cycle happens again on the weekend, and I never give myself a break. My stress has caused the H.pylori infection that I have been suffering with for the past two weeks. It absolutely sucks. Not only does it drain out all your energy, physically and mentally; it also makes me feel nauseated every time I eat.
I am tired, so tired.
My mind won't stop spinning. I wish everything could stop and slow down. At night, I'm in bed and I try to recount the events that had happened the day. I struggle to put things in chronological order. Everything is moving too fast. I'm using up all my energy to stay afloat, but I'm scared that I'm going to eventually exhaust and drown. Then I close my eyes, even though I know so darn well that I'm going to wake up, and I'll do it all again.

"Don't worry" "You'll get better soon" "Don't stress too much" "One more month"
......

welcome to 2014

2014

thankful.
appreciate.
love.
smile. 

to my family: i apologize for being moody all the time. it's just that whenever i'm at home all i want to do is stay in bed and watch tv. i'm too tired to do anything. i understand that it just makes me seem really ungrateful to see you all, but i can't help it. i'm burnt out and exhausted. but i continue to thank you for at least trying to be understanding. mealtimes are the best, especially when mom says something and dad turns it to the corniest joke ever (a broken gag, excuse my chinglish) . 

to my friends: you are all amazing just for bearing with my irrational inconsistent mood swings. i know i'm not the person who shows the most affection; in fact, sometimes i'm so emotionless that i question whether i am a stoic. but honestly, deep down i appreciate everything you all have done for me. when i am stressed, you are always there to let me know that someone is available to talk or just to keep me company. for most of you who know me well enough, you know that i enjoy one-on-one conversations over group hangouts any day. i acknowledge my tendency to rant about my life filled. ,which is often filled with unnecessary drama. but having you there to listen makes my world a thousand times better. 

to a very special someone: not a day goes by where i don't think about how lucky i am to have you in my life, to be with you, to be annoyed by you, to pick little fights with you. i could easily say that i am the luckiest girl in the world to be with you, in my world at least. 

i will get through 2014 as long as i have all of you around to be with. 
i love you all.