I haven't updated my blog for a while.. I guess it's because I've been trying really hard not to do anything. I know, it sounds stupid "trying hard not to do anything" but it's true. Having been working all the time on a schedule, I never feel comfortable when I have free time. I'm always thinking about my work for the rest of the week, and how I can work ahead if I spend the time working instead of doing nothing. If I do it now, I will get a real weekend on the weekend. But the cycle happens again on the weekend, and I never give myself a break. My stress has caused the H.pylori infection that I have been suffering with for the past two weeks. It absolutely sucks. Not only does it drain out all your energy, physically and mentally; it also makes me feel nauseated every time I eat.
I am tired, so tired.
My mind won't stop spinning. I wish everything could stop and slow down. At night, I'm in bed and I try to recount the events that had happened the day. I struggle to put things in chronological order. Everything is moving too fast. I'm using up all my energy to stay afloat, but I'm scared that I'm going to eventually exhaust and drown. Then I close my eyes, even though I know so darn well that I'm going to wake up, and I'll do it all again.
"Don't worry" "You'll get better soon" "Don't stress too much" "One more month"